Diabolik Lovers: A Guide To Self Inserts
by VenaHope
Summary: Want to know how to write a Self Insert without making it a cringe worthy Mary-Sue or cliche cringe mess? This is for you!
1. Prologue

**I know this is about Diabolik Lovers, but I just want to make something clear.**

 **In general, do not do the following IN ANY FANDOM, unless your trying to make it cringe worthy.**

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If you are trying to write a good OC, that isn't a run of the mill boring everyday uninteresting character, don't do the following:

Have a name that resembles: Scarlett Silver, Skylar Storm, Ruby Roundhouse, you know, anything that sounds like a name out of a porno.

Don't give your OC powers that make no sense to the story. If you do give them powers give said powers limits and don't make your OC as strong as the main character, actually having them start out weak is always good.

Don't give your OC an edgy background or sad past. It's over used and frankly if you don't have a sad past, then don't do one. I've read so many stories with characters who, example, have an abusive father, who stabs them or something, and traumatizes them. Then they are brought to (Insert Story Here) and suddenly they don't have any form of trauma, it's as if they were NEVER in a bad situation in the first place.

Don't make all the characters fall in love with your OC. Especially the villain characters. If you must, I'll make a chapter explaining how, because dear god does that have so many land mines.

Don't spend an entire paragraph describing your OC, example: She had long red and purple stripped hair with blue eyes and wore combat boots with a skull t-shirt, she had a lip piercing and blue skirt, etc.

That manner of writing interrupts the story, then don't do it. I can assure you nobody actually reads that part, it's boring and unimportant. Don't give to many details about the character all at once. Mention the eyes and hair color throughout the story, from other character's point of views, and make sure it's not describing her like I just did. Here's a way to better explain how somebody looks:

Examples:

He watched her, interested, red hair blowing in the wind, as her blue eyes glared at him furiously as she adjusted blue skirt as it blew up in the wind. Or she toyed with the piercing on her lip nervously. Or she pulled her long skull skirt (It was her favorite) shirt over her pink tank top. Or she glanced down at her combat books and hoped the tied weren't undone.

Next, don't make your character related to one of the characters in the Fandom, it's hard NOT to make those corny and cheesy. I'll do a chapter on how NOT to make them crappy if you must.

Stop making character's act OOC because they're now friends with your character. This is why people call them Mary-Sue.


	2. Vampires Aren't Bunnies

Ok so, in Diabolik Lover Self Inserting writing, the first thing you gotta realize is that these boys aren't the Host Club from Ouran High School Host Club.

They will kill your OC if she act's anything like you 'would act' in Yui's place.

Example: Calling the brothers names. Cussing them out. Fighting them. Hitting them. Running away. Disobeying them. Acting cheerful around them. Expecting them to care about you if you have a crush on them. Telling them 'No.' Actually thinking it's a good idea to punch them.

You will die if you do these things. Each of these brother's DO NOT give a shit if you live of die. They CANNOT die unless they're head is cut off. They have a father and other brothers, WHO WILL kill you if you do manage to kill one. Not because they care, but because that means you are a threat to them who has to be eliminated.

No. You cannot fight against a vampire. They can bend a metal bar in half _with ease._ Don't think you puny little hits will do anything, and even if you nail them in the crouch, what do you think they'll do to _you_ , once their _healing factor_ rids them of the pain? They can move faster _than you_ and have a much _faster_ reaction time, even if it's _slow_ for a vampire in some cases, it's still faster than a human.

Also having your OC acting just like Yui isn't any better. We already have a Yui, go make your own character.

Even if you have your OC in Yui's place with the DO NOT KILL sign above her head, there are things far worse than death. Alive doesn't mean safe. Alive means don't end the suffering on the event of punishments.

Also, please don't do that thing were your OC is like a secret Agent or something. Or a vampire, Ghoul, or Witch. If they are not a self insert, it's fine, but if they are a self insert (Counting Reborn versions), it's corny as heck.

Also keep in mind the vampires are freaking pure-blood princes, so they are still way stronger than your OC to begin with.

Furthermore, DO NOT MAKE YOU OC A FREAKING CHILD!

Anywhere under fifteen is to young, and not bridal age. She wouldn't sent to the mansion. If you OC is thirteen, please age them up a few years, the keyword here is sacrificial BRIDE, so they have to be around the traditional bridal age.

I do not want to think about what would really happen if _a twelve year old_ was sent to the mansion. They are babies! They would get ripped to shreds!


	3. Yui

**Right... right.. Ok... I have to stop this.**

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Yui Komari.

Why... why the hell did you turn that nice sweet girl into a bitchy Brittney? (I am sorry if your name is Brittney)

Your OC is crude. It's obvious you are trying (and failing) to make the reader feel pity for her by adding in an unrealistic (And quite frankly unbelievable) bully story. Oh look, OC-Chan is being hurt by Yui, how cruel. Let's just forget about the _abuse_ the _vampires_ are dishing out. No, no, means words are so evil!

If you want a bully character... go made a different story about a different fandom. Because you so do not need a bully of all things in Diabolik Lovers (and no, that thing you created and named Yui, is not Yui.)

Yui is a sweet, kind, innocent girl with a bit of a masochist kink she has yet to explore due the fact that she's still seventeen, a virgin and grew up in the church that probably didn't encourage much sexual exploration.

This OC will usually be the 'opposite' of Yui. Being brave, tough, and either goth or boyish. Oh and she'll probably have boobs and make fun of Yui's lack of boobs all the damn time.

So basically female Ayato or Subaru.

So female Ayato usually stands up to the brothers, punches them, throws knives (Fucking. Knives?!) at them when they insult her. Does she do this to anyone that insults her, because at this point she isn't suppose to know the brothers are vampires so... (I mean imagine doing this to a normal person who insults you.)

So she's not female Ayato... shes crazy bitch.

Crazy bitch then usually goes about hitting and defeating the, and say this with me, Supernaturally strong, immortal, teleporting, vampires.

And gets away with it. In fact Crazy Bitch gets away with little consequences, when in reality this lunatic would have been locked in the dungeons of the Sakamaki household and tortured until she couldn't even remember her own name.

A strong female character, is not strong when you have to add superpowers or violence to her character in order to make her strong. If you want a strong character, look at characters who, without super powers, can make a difference. I would name some examples but... it's hard to name any anime characters I know who are actually like this, which explains why these characters exist.

You rarely find a female character who isn't either in love with the main character, has huge boobs, is a total doormat, or is just not... not strong unless she has powers of some kind.

It's sad, really, if you think about it.

But case and point, the brothers aren't going to allow someone like that to live. Yui, Yui is actually doing really well for her situation, if you stop, and think about it.

Let me play this out for you, put yourself in her shoes:

You are told to go live in Japan, so you go, and upon going into this huge freaking mansion, you find nobody is waiting for you. What do you do:

Option A, Get the fuck out of there, there are probably serial killers in the mansion

Option B, Look around, see what there, call out to see if the owner is home, since you are in a persons house.

Option D, Stand at the doorway, and wait, maybe text your friends or family to check if they told the people your were staying with that you were coming that day, or if you have the right address (which already checked because, like, duh, you arrived at a fucking mansion. A. Mansion. Holy Shit)

If you picked A, then... Let me clarify. You don't know that there are vampires in that mansion. All you know is that you traveled a very long way, and are moving into a new home that you found out is a fucking mansion, so you'd be reacting the way you'd react if you found out your living in a mansion. Remember, you don't know shit about the Sakamakis. You would not run, you can't afford another plane ticket or hotel room, nor is there a taxi in the middle of nowhere, and also you're still in your Holy fucking shit I'm so tired and also OMG I get to live in a mansion, am I dreaming this place is awesome" Mode.

Option B, Your outcome will be similar to Yui's. There is a very attractive boy laying a couch, what do you do? Try to wake him up because your tired from your flight and long drive, and also you're probably starving, plus he's fucking hot a hell. He does not have a pulse, so you go to call the cops, but then he, _the dead guy, wakes up._

So of course this would throw you off, because, dude, he was dead and now he's not and your brain is foggy from all these new things being pushed up in your face, plus he's eyeing you up and down making you really insecure of your looks cause now you feel ugly because of his, quite literal supernatural beauty. (Unless you have the confidence of a goddess but that's unlikely.) Ayato can also put out KI (killing intent) which basically means you're gonna end up freezing out of fear, plus trying to punch him will do nothing, it be like punching superman. Nothing would happen except maybe he be upset your not being submissive, and pinning you while whispering scary threats in your ear.

Option D, Reiji will find you first since you failed to walk into Ayato's trap, you would then go through what Yui did, being creeped out and licked by random boys who:

Teleport.

Lick her face.

Refer to her as human.

Are told not to kill her.

Display inhumane strength.

See her as a possession.

It's implied that they kill people.

Yui then, at this point, finds out they are vampires, or rather, her suspicions are most likely confirmed. I do believe most of the time she is acting stupid, because it's not like she can just ask if they are vampires. Plus it's not something a logical person assumes, vampires existing would be a lot to take in.

Yui might be naive, but she's actually quite strong if you actually pay attention to her character, and are able to fully grasp exactly what she is going through, and that this is how she facing her captors, torturers, and how she faces death itself, and I think she's pretty strong.

She has her fault, she gullible, naive, oblivious, a bit to trusting, and she clearly has Stockholm Syndrome by the end of Season two, but she's alive and still able to function as a good person, she stays herself and stands up for her beliefs. I think she's strong for that.

So enough with the pointless hating. Please.

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 **Well, I think I've said enough on that topic. Sorry I've been out for a bit, but hey, I'm back.**

 **I was thinking maybe the next chapter should be on the topic of romance, as this seems to be where the Diabolik Lovers fanfictions suffer the most.**


	4. Chapter 4 Rant

**Ok, so this is more of a rant, like a rant- rant, on a fanfiction I just read. Everything here is my opinion so if you know the story, or recognize it this is just my personal opinion so please keep that in mind.**

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OK, so the other day I read this fanfiction, one that I used to think was really cool, with a strong female character. Now, I hate her, find her super annoying and down right stupid.

The story starts out with her going to the Sakamaki mansion after finding out it was haunted, out of curiosity. This is understandable, I would probably investigate as well- but the thing was is that upon arriving she does indeed come across the Sakamakis.

At first she doesn't believe that they are vampires, before Reiji act OOC and teleports behind her whispering into her ear and licking her throat. In front of his brothers.

Reiji, would never, ever, do that of all things _in front of his brothers._ It should have been a red flag from the begining but I overlooked it. Instead she immediately _excepts_ that they are vampires, and that she will probably die soon.

Oh my god. Is this girl suicidal? The only conclusion that makes sense is that she is suffering from some kind of severe depression that would make her perfectly fine with being murdered. Then she acts like this is smart, not fighting vampires is a good move, since you will loose anyways and you'll never win. Girl, have some dignity!

This would be fine, if not two chapters later she back talks Ruki, insults Carla to his face, and then goes and kills Shin.

Kills the First Blood.

When she meets the Mukami's she acts as though the Sakamaki's are so much better, and says it to their face to, and overall her behavior is that of an entitled fangirl. She acts like a bitch to them- without cause. They act the same as the Sakamakis who she just submitted to without question and little complaints.

Did I mention that for some reason, she had to stay in Shu and Reiji's rooms, despite them living in a fucking mansion, with hundreds of spar rooms and servants- with magic- that could easily fix her up a place?

That and the very next day Reiji tortures her, and she's completely fine with it. The girl get's Stockholm syndrome in like the first five minutes of being there.

The characters act OOC around her, acting like actual human beings around her in a few chapters, and treating her as family. Laito even stops being a man-slut. Now you know she's at Mary-Sue levels.

You might be wondering- oh, where is Yui?

Yui is apparently Kathrine Pierce levels of slut (vampire diaries) just think Cordelia, but better at acting. She's the manipulative slut that all the brothers fall for, but then she runs so Yuma kills her.

Like, you guys know how I feel about Yui, so making her into some bitchy Cordelia slut pissed me off. I overlooked this when I was younger, but now that I've matured a bit I can't help but get irritated.

This girl was insane.

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 **Sorry I just had to get this off my chest- tell me about stories that you once thought were cool but now you realize the character wasn't actually as 'strong' as you thought she was.**


	5. Romance

Let me get one thing perfectly clear.

Incest is disgusting.

The amount of times I've come across a DL fic where the love interest is related to the Sakamaki is disturbing. Why someone thinks this is Ok is beyond me.

How exactly am I suppose to root for a OC who acts like one of those spoiled brats jealous of the attention her _brothers_ give to other women?

Example: Sayu Sakamaki is the sister of Shu and Reiji, Beatrix's daughter. She is a vampire, and a pure-blood at that. One of the Sakamaki. Sayu is jealous of the human girl her _brothers_ are torturing because how dare they not _fuck_ her instead.

Like.. what? If you wanted a vampire OC, you do realized you could just... not make her related to them? If you wanted your OC to be a female Sakamaki, then make her at the very least, into the Mukamis, since they are not _related to her._

Ew. Girl, what are you on?

Right, now that we have that out the way, let's address the whole 'romance' bombshell.

Making your OC a female nice version of one of the brothers is not chemistry. Just because you two are the same, does not mean it works out. The personalities would end up clashing- that's what rivals are.

Example: OC-chan has a stuffed animal like Kanato that she takes with her everywhere. OC-chan is sleepy all the time and listens to music. OC-chan is smart with glasses.

The weird thing is that I haven't seen copies of Laito, Subaru or Ayato. Namely because Subaru is a Tsundere, so the character is often times just the typical "it's not that I like you or anything- Baka!" Type of character. Don't get me wrong, Tsunderes are adorable, but... they don't work in DL to well. They'd die to fast, and so if they live, it makes the character's act OOC.

That's usually the problem with most romance fics, the characters suddenly act OOC.

Realistically, if the character's were to fall in love, it wouldn't be a 'oh I'm so in love let me take care of you my precious' but more of a tragic, "I will kill anyone who touches you and harshly abuse and blame you because I don't understand my feelings" Type of things.

Actually, you could just look at the canon. Diabolik _Lovers._ Is a tragic, dark and twisted love story- at least the game is.

Those are the things the brothers do... while in love. They fall in love with Yui. That is how they express their love.

Ayato is harsh and abusive, constantly sucking her blood, torturing her all the while she begs him not to. Every time she does anything with anyone else he get's jealous and insecure because he's never felt love before, and doesn't know how to express himself. So he just ends up claiming her as his. I can totally see her ending up dead if she doesn't do exactly what Yui does, and that is, submit to him completely. Heck in the otome there are several endings where Yui dies.

Laito will rape and kill her. No joke. The last woman he was 'in love' with, he murdered. That's what he believes love is. Laito would play the part of lover, he would force the girl to do things she normally wouldn't do, and his perception of love is just sex (Really, really kinky sex) in the game he got off on literally everything.

Kanato will kill her and turn her into a doll the moment she does anything he remotely doesn't like, because he's actually insane.

Reiji will drive her to suicide with his perfectionist ways, she won't be able to please him. He is a sadist who hates humans. (He will also probably attempt to kill Shu's love interest.)

Shu... depending on how your OC handles him is quite possibly the 'safest' option due to how lazy he is. Don't mess with him, he doesn't mess with you, but if someone was in love with him, tread carefully. But I mean Reiji's totally gonna try to kill her or 'take her' to teach Shu a lesson.

Subaru will probably kill her by accident, or in a fit of rage. Subaru is like hulk, when he's angry, "Hulk smash puny human". Then he'll sulk about it later and futher fall down the hole of 'I'm a filthy monster'.

These are tragic characters who are broken. They aren't the type to fall in love, and when they do... think Yandere type shit. Hardcore Yandere Sadist.

As for the Mukamis, if you look closely they are in some ways... worse. Kou is basically the triplets wrapped up into one twisted bi-polar sadistic maniac.

Ruki is Ayato and Reiji in one, with the superiority complex, and the better than thou attitude. Huge dom complex.

Yuma is Subaru and Shu, squished into one.

Azusa is the oddball. He is actually not exactly a copy of the others, I tried to match him with Kanato... but he's never hysteric or anything like that. But he can been super creepy. (He is a poor precious baby)

But as the title of this chapter suggests, I'm gonna give you some tips on how to actually write the romance part of the story.

For reference, here's a list of character in order of easiest to hardest when it comes to the topic of romance. Keep in mind I am not saying the characters will be easy. I'm saying that out of the Diabolik Lovers characters, the first ones on the list are the easiest to write _compared_ to the others on the list after them. They are all hard to put into romance, some are just much harder than others. (When I say 'hard' I mean hard to write without making them OOC.) Please keep in my this is my own opinion and estimates based off what happens in the otome, manga and anime.

1\. Shu

2\. Subaru

3\. Yuma

4\. Ayato

5\. Asuza

6\. Ruki

7\. Kou

8\. Kanato

9\. Laito

10\. Reiji

You die and end up going insane with Reiji the most. He never really 'loves' you without making you some kind of slave.

Right now that that is out of the way, onward.

Now here's something very important to all romance.

Take. It. Slow.

You can't marry a man you just met.

The first step is to establish an actual bond between the two characters you want to together, and of course, that depends on the character. The harder the character, the harder it will be to establish a bond- a true bond. This also depends on your character as well, if your character is submissive, level headed, and cunning she'll probably live longer, but she'll be in it for herself first and foremost. Twisted relationships are the only kind of relationships these guys know, so your gonna have to work with that.

Ask yourself, what can you or your OC take? What would they do? How would they bond? Let's start off basic- not triggering them.

They want the girl to obey them, fear them, and submit to them. That damages the pride, however there is a way to do that, or at least appear to while keeping things interesting.

First off, fearing them is normal, so it ain't a problem, the problem is how your OC handles that fear.

Running away? Bad move, they are vampire royalty, there is nowhere to go once, if, you even escape. Dead.

Fighting them? Eh... super strength and inhuman speed makes that impossible. Dead.

Cussing them out? Dead.

Keeping her respectful of them- or others- not because she fears them but just out of principle. Obeying the reasonable demands, such as house rules is normal and something you would do anyways. Things you would normally obey. Be respectful of their rules. Don't speak up about why you think their opinion and beliefs are bad, keep it to yourself- unless asked. Then speak _carefully_.

Treat them like you would a different culture, because that's what you're in. Vampire culture. That doesn't make it right, but complaining means pain and death so keep it to yourself. Making sure not to anger them is key to survival.

The first step to romance is first adjusting your character to the lifestyle, depending on her personality this might take weeks to months.

I'd give her a month of getting used to them- and then you start the getting the vampire to like the human part.

Meaning, like her, not as in falling in love, but actually the 'hey she's not a total annoyance after all' type of thing. Next comes the 'claiming' then the struggles, it's important to have struggles. That should be after the tenth chapter mark. Go into the story like you don't intend for romance, put the romance as a subplot. Don't focus on it at first. Wait. Wait to even begin the friendship.

Then once they've interacted enough, once there is actual chemistry between them- once that happens, that's when things get complicated.

Let me go through and give you examples of what behavior they'll show:

Stage One: Hangs around her and seeks her out more often.

Stage Two: Decides to show off in some way to her- or get's confused about his own feelings and pushes her away. Or both.

State Three: Get's pissy when she get's bit by other vampires, and either sulks, or attack her to 'punish' her for hurting his feelings.

Stage Four: Claims her, like really claims her, and forces the other brothers to back off.

Stage Five: Will actually attack the other brothers for touching her. Still confused about feelings. Takes said confusion out on her. Is in denial. Denial phase should last for about five to ten chapters.

Stage Six: Has existential crisis about feelings. Will probably go bitey willy nilly mode. Then regret it when she's hurt. Self Loathing begins. Girl fixes self loathing.

Stage Seven: Sexy times.

Stage Eight: Problem of some kinds enters the picture. Problem should last about three to four chapters or longer.

Stage Nine: Vampire is shaken from said problem. Heart break may ensue.

Stage Ten: Fixing relationship, walls breaking down, more sexy times. Sexy times fixes all.

Stage Eleven: Sexy times to not fix all. Mental healing begins. More bonding. Back stories talked about. Mental break downs and crying.

Stage Twelve: Sexy times and bonding. Final stage complete. Either tragically or happily ever after.

Right. Well you can add more stages if you like but those are the basic twelve. Ups and downs of relationships with a mentally unstable person. Hope this helps out!

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 **Well, that's it for now. Next I'll be covering how to actually write a non human character into the story. Warning, there will be brutal honesty. Until next time my lovelies~**


	6. The Thing About Self Inserts

Right, Ok... so anyone who's ever glanced at my page knows I love self inserts... however, I have come to realize (more like acknowledge) the stigma behind and around Self Inserts as Mary-Sues.

Well, there's a difference.

A Mary-Sue is a character who warps the story around her. It's not usually about looks or names, you could have them have purple hair and pink eyes and her name could be rainbow, and that's not enough to define her as a Mary-Sue. Those are just thing typically associate with Mary-Sueness because typically Mary-Sue's are also un realistic in design.

But the thing that damns them as a Mary-Sue, is when people react to them unrealistically. Sure your character could be an absolute saint with all the cute weirdness you want, but if the characters who would normally treat her coldly start fondly gazing into her eyes, that's when Sue-chan is born.

ie: Girl goes and meets Akatsuki, (a group of homicidal maniacs for those of you who don't know) and instead of dying after the first two minutes of meeting them they all like her, and are in love with her in the first few chapters and it's just.. ew.

I don't care what she looks like or what her name is, those things don't make her a Mary-Sue, it's that quality that always make it. Of course, that's when it get's complicated. Here's what I mean.

Say you have a twelve year old girl with magical powers with a tragic backstory, with blue hair and pink eyes and her name is Selena Swan.

Mary-Sue, right? Wrong. Here's context.

Selena has magical powers due to a deal she struck with a magical entity when it visited her in a dream, in exchange for a price. Selena accepts because she's a twelve year old girl who's always dreamed of having these amazing powers. However, she soon learns that there is a price to every wish. That price was her family, the next morning her newly acquired powers are there, but her family is gone. She lives with the guilt of what she had done for the rest of her life, and as a result of her family disappearing she had abandonment issues and struggles with self loathing, anxiety, depression, and nightmares. Everyday she fights to keep herself positive, gaining friends, and struggles to keep her powers in check in searches for her family and strives to fix the mistake she made. Her hair color and eyes color are a side effect of the powers.

If everything in that backstory is placed into the character, then she'd be a pretty interesting character, who's motivations are to fix her mistakes and find her family.

Now the problem is the fact that- characters like her are complex. You've got a lot to balance there, and you've got to be careful not to turn her into a edgy emo sue. Those are much worse, believe me.

Then you place this girl into a story? Honey, no. You've got to much to juggle. That's were the problem always lies.

Trying to make your character mysterious and with a 'cool' back story simply doesn't work, because, especially at that age, you simply aren't able to write a character without screwing up royally. (Take it from someone who has screwed up, royally.) That's what a Mary-Sue is, someone who perverts the story and characters, and then tries to shove this backstory down your throat before forgetting the story completely and making the make characters fawn over them.

Yep, now this is where Self Inserts come in.

What I consider a self insert, is yourself being entered into the story, that is, someone who has seen the story is suddenly in the story, as themselves. The problem with these stories is that, you give them superpowers right off the bat.

Like, in Naruto, you ruin it by instantly making them a Shinobi and their on team seven. No, that's a Mary-Sue move. Please don't do that. Not unless your OC had been reborn as Sakura, Sasuke, or Naruto. (Or Kakashi.)

Otherwise please don't pull this move. It's unrealistic, and very overused. If you are doing a self insert, then insert yourself.

You are in Diabolik Lovers now. You are in Naruto now. What do you do?

Now most SI would either typically appear near the main characters, like in Naruto. convenient, no? Poof your right next to Konoha, so you go in and- wait. This is a military base, remember?

I've said these types of things in previous chapters, think, realistically, please. Of course, now that I think about it, making a Self Insert in Naruto is much easier than in Diabolik Lovers. Why?

Because in Naruto even if your aren't near the plot you're very noticbly in another world. You could write about how the SI takes to building a life, experiencing and adjusting to chakra and how they prepare for the shit load that is the future while avoiding Shinobi at all costs. (Damn, that's a good idea... somebody write that! Or hey maybe I will:)

But in Diabolik Lovers... well... look in the mirror. That's your SI's life. You could go your whole life in DL and barely notice if you don't go to the DL night school and don't end up as a bride. Or are (un) lucky enough to encounter a vampire.

Say maybe you've found yourself in what you know is a parallel world. Why? Because let's say it 2013 again, and you've found this out and found you're old home to go warn yourself that Donald Trump will be elected in three and so you need to flee the country before that. Anyways- that's when you find out you don't live there, and you decide that the only explanation is that you're in a parallel world.

Say you are younger than 18, in which case you'd be grabbed up and tossed in either foster care, or an orphanage. Say you finally get interent access, and low and behold, you stumble across Kou Mukami while browsing, that or you look up diabolik lovers and you find it doesn't exist, much like yourself, in which case you'd chalk it up to 'parallel universe bullshit' before moving on. So you find Kou Mukami, and you freak out and look up stuff about Tougo Sakamaki and then you find the Night School the Sakamaki's are going to, you find stuff about missing persons (specifically teenage girls) and you realize DL is real, and you're in the DL world.

That, or from the begining you had your Iphone on you from the start, and you just went to starbucks to use the wifi and ended up discovering DL wasn't in that world, and googled character's, like Mukamis just to find the anime, and found Kou or Tougo, and- you get what I'm saying. You find out, and proceed to freak out and process that vampires are real in that world, and so are demons. So you decide to look into vampires, specifically vampire protection methods in order to not die should you come across one.

Now an avid DL fan would probably want to go to Japan and meet the DL in question, but a sane fan would know that that was a horrible idea, and decide not to do that but secretly think about what would happen anyways. Before remembering how powerful Karlheinz is and deciding to avoid thinking about them because of the paranoia that a vampire might be reading your mind because according to the games and wiki, Laito and Karlheinz can do that.

Etc... etc.. etc... You get my drift. Now that that's cleared up, have a wonderful day!


	7. Let's Talk Diabolik Lovers

**Right... so I know I might have mentioned that I would be doing a chapter on inhuman OC's, but then I talked about Mary-Sue's and... well now I'm gonna talk about something a little different than fanfiction.**

 **Diabolik Lovers. (Basically me just fangirling)  
**

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So why did you watch Diabolik Lovers? Did a friend recommend it to you, or did you find it while browsing? Maybe you read the manga or played the game. Whatever the reason you decide to watch Diabolik Lovers, what did you think of it?

Me, personally, I was about twelve or thirteen. It was the first anime I'd ever seen. I was browsing on YouTube when I saw a picture of Laito biting Yui's leg. The video was Top Ten Favorite Bite Scenes. I clicked on the video because I was a curious little thing, and boy, I... can't say I regret it.

Diabolik Lovers, sadly, was my first glimpse of anime. Before watching Diabolik Lovers, I had no idea what a pervert was, what a sadist was, or what a masochist was. I didn't know what yandere was either. Only the year previously did I actually have 'the talk' with my parents. So I was pretty innocent when I first watched it. (Innocent to the 'ways of men', I was a little shit back then.)

Anyways, I dived head first into the pretty vampire's world, and was horrified when I read there pages on wiki about Laito's mom fucked him, and what kind of abuse she did to her sons.

I didn't know anything.

I watched the entire season. I read the manga. I watched the game tutorials and read about it, I read fanfiction, I absorbed everything I could about this anime.

I took a break from it after I turned fourteen, I'd found other anime like Death Note, Shiki, and eventually Naruto. I took a nose dive into this world the Diabolik Lovers set up, and so I joined this network. Diabolik Lovers was sorta my eye opener into the world of 'hey, this thing called anime exists and now you love it.'

Then I'd go back, every now and then over the years, and look at Diabolik Lovers again. I know it's full of abusive assholes, I know the main character isn't the most interesting character in the world, I know the plot is lacking, and I know that the anime is a cringe fest.

But I still will write fanfictions about it, and I will still be compelled to watch it, and I will still wait for season three to finally come out.

I don't know why, I know it's a bad anime, but I can't shake the anime off. Maybe I'm just nuts.

Diabolik Lovers is about six boys and a girl. The boys are all emotionally damaged, and the girl is innocent and naive.

Out of all of them I was personally first drawn to Laito. Which would have been a deadly choice, had I been in Yui's position. Like seriously.

This was before I actually knew his personality, I'm talking about looks alone. The character, on the other hand... well, at first he kinda creeped me out, then I sorta found him annoying, then he slowly became my favorite to watch (Not underacting with Yui) because... I mean he's hilarious to watch.

Remember his little comment, "Sharing is caring"? That line sent me into a fit of laughter, still does to this day. Laito's character became more and more... just plain hilarious to me for some reason. I mean, the dude still creeps me out, especially in the game.

The next vampire... ah, Subaru. "How dare you interrupt my precious sleep" *punches wall*

OMG. Fits of laughter everytime. If I was a self insert, I would have a reaaaaaalllyy hard time not cracking up. Oh, and then the scene when they are all eating dinner and Kanato is stabbing his cookies while laughing madly, Shu just straight up leaves, Reiji is complaining about Shu leaving the table, Subaru is glaring at Laito for existing, Ayato is ignoring them, and Yui is just staring at them all like WTF.

Favorite scene in the whole anime, hands down.

Then the second season came out and... you know I don't get why most people think the Mukami's are any better. Actually, for me, I personally hate them. That is, I hate the way they act. It's hypocritical for them to look down upon Yui because she's human when they themselves once were human.

Although, Asuza is my favorite Mukami.

But I find the Sakamaki's behavior just as annoying, I mean, they blame Yui for getting kidnapped by vampires? WTF.

Granted, I shouldn't be surprised, it's them after all. Though I expect better from Subaru.

 **(Oh, and also, a little side note on Reiji... Rot in hell you turd. Glasses wearing prick born on the day of prick when all the prick planets and stars aligned did that prick get born by a ice bitch and man whore. Burning down your brother's friend's village and then killing your own mom just cause she didn't pay attention to you... you bastard. Then you keep screwing up Shu's happiness and caused him to go into depression and lay around all the time and give up on life. You screwed up Yuma's life and killed his parents. Fuck you Reiji.)**

Reiji was also one that I liked... attraction wise. Reiji is hot. Laito is hot. Ayato is hot.

Laito is funny but pervy and creepy. Ayato is strangely cute but an asshole. Reiji is a prick.

Kanato, Kou and Laito have something in common, and that is the ability to completely freak me out.

Shu I like, personality, looks, and he also makes me crack up with his lazy attitude.

Kou and Kanato just freak me out. I don't know why.

Subaru and Asuza are precious little cuties, adorable and they bring about my maternal side. Especially Asuza.

Yuma is someone who I sympathize for (Not that I don't feel awful for the others as well) and he is also kinda funny. I wish he remembered his past life with Shu though, since it would help Shu out of his depression a lot.

Ruki... I don't like him. He irritates me a lot. I think it's just how hypocritical he is, it's irritating as fuck.

Now... if I'm not missing anyone... Carla and Shin.

I absolutely love the way Carla looks. (Maybe I'm just a sucker for long hair). His eyes are cool, his hair is cool, and dear lord that man is gorgous. Not to mention the voice...

Shin is also kinda cool though he reminds me of a mix Kou/Laito so that kinda freaks me out...

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 **Soooooo I know this is... not a chapter on Self Inserts. It's just... Diabolik Lovers is a cringe anime and the vampires are horrible bastards, but I love it anyways. Anybody else feel the same?**


	8. Non Human or Super human OC's

Guys... _Guys.._

We need to talk about how to write a girl with powers story into Diabolik Lovers.

The obvious is that you shouldn't have her stronger than the vampires... because that's just gonna get corny fast, and pretty boring.

She can become as strong as them... maybe... depending on her powers, over time. But you never wanna do that right off the bat.

I've actually read a good fanfiction like this, and the key is the type of power here. Like, cat ears and tail with kitty powers? I don't want to sound rude but to me...

 **That kind of fic would literally be torture. (** I'm not trying to be harsh but the idea makes me cringe.)

In the story I read she had some kind of Telekinesis. But it was balanced well in the fact that she had a hard time controlling it, and it only acted up during times of stress (Aka, whenever the brothers were around) and when she focused. It was kinda like the force.

But please just try to think realistically with the powers, and don't get to crazy. And please stop it with the Naruto rip offs, the sheer amount of "theres a demon sealed inside of me" fanfictions are getting ridiculous.

Please don't make her a werewolf or a witch either. Why? Well in the game, according to my research, the brothers came a across a witch once, it must of went bad because they swore they would kill any witch they ever came across on the spot. So obviously a witch OC would be screwed.

Were-Wolf... use your head. Typically were-wolves and vampires hate each other. Your OC has very little chances of survival if she went there, plus they'd kill her the moment she's a threat.

I guess the only way this would change is if Karlheinz decided to create another breeding experiment or something... but he would be more likely to mate with one himself with just because of his 'rebellious' sons tendencies to 'act out'.

(Aka killing every single one of the 'brides' he sent... huh, you know if you think about it in a weird, twisted, fucked up kind of way Karlhienz is sending them food so they don't die, kinda like a mom... Ok, now I'm disturbed.)

Anyways, don't make them into super heroes. It just doesn't fit in that world.

Now, making your OC another vampire...

Don't. Make. Her. Fucking. Weak.

Yes, they would be stronger if they are older, or if she's a half blood, and because they are the sons of the Vampire King... but not that weaker.

She's basically a human who drinks blood. In the event of a vampire OC, you can actually have her throw them around, punch them and stuff, because she's a VAMPIRE to... I mean Reiji will still try to get all punishment whip kinky on her, because the dude is a total perv when it comes to that shit, but yeah.

Follow my previous advice, and with that the rest is up to you.


End file.
